Daniel’s Diary (031)

Diary entry 031

In 2021, I wrote a particular song. I was still in secondary school, SS3 to be precise. I can’t remember if I was walking to my room, or if I was already on my bed. I think it was the latter. I had this song book, which had multiple pages of lyrics of different kinds. This was going to be the latest addition.

I’d thought of a melody and I’d fit words into this melody. I was channeling some sort of yearning, because the woman I’d loved was far from me. She felt like what it meant to merely graze the tip of your greatest desire and instantly fall from grace. If you’d like to understand more, read the letter I wrote. It’s titled “To all the girls I’ve loved before”. You’d probably enjoy it. Now, before I digress, I wrote the song. And then I did it for one of my best friends, Davidson. He loved it. Then again, he loves all my music, so that probably goes without saying.

Anyway, I still had a problem. I had no instrumental for the song. So, I texted someone, Dr. Fuse, a badass producer, one of the people who got me into music in the first place. I gave him the lowdown, and he got back to me with an instrumental based on what I hummed and sent as a voice note. However, I still had a problem.

The lyrics I’d originally written didn’t fit. And trust me, I tried desperately to make them work. It just wouldn’t gel. So I rewrote the song from scratch, and that was the second demo. And I can’t remember what that sounds like for the life of me.

In 2022, I was in the situationship we don’t talk about, and if you’ve been following, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Needless to say, we don’t talk about it (comprehensively, at least) because of how horrible the situation was. She inspired the second verse.

Later in the year 2022, I’d met someone else, and for one reason or the other…actually, wait. I’ve spoken about her before. Diary entry 008. She inspired the chorus.

In 2023, I was in my first relationship. I’ll talk about that later. I actually have something written about it, but I’ve been too antsy to share. I’ll do that when I feel it’s right. Anyway, she inspired the first verse.

Because after all of these were said and done, one day, while I was working over the summer, a random day in August, I sat outside my office, waiting for my mom to come pick me up. In the process, I played the beat again, and I poured my heart into those lyrics. And the third demo of the song was created.

I recorded the song three times. The first two were balderdash. I don’t even have it anymore because of how much I disliked it. I now realize why I disliked those demos. They lacked feeling. Emotion.

A friend of mine, Michael, connected me with this artist I’d been a fan of for time, Kinj K.A.D.E. (You should listen to his music, it’s really good)

Kade heard the song, and then helped me improve it mid-session. I learnt a lot of things that day, but we’ll get into that later. I remember being in a state of utmost sadness for about 3 weeks after recording the song, because I had to tap into emotions I’d buried 6 feet beneath my subconscious. I did just that. In that singular 2 hour session, I dove back into those situations, and came back out…barely. But hey, it’s art, right?

Anyway, that’s how the song Rárá, was created.

The cover art took a bit more time, because I had a particular vision and I only knew one person who could bring it to life. The concept of the song and the art had to align. There had to be cohesiveness with the auditory and visual components. It was essential to me. I texted my friend Christian and told him all I wanted. He brought it to life. A Cupid arrow shooting through the windshield of a car, with me in the driver seat. Cupid squashed against the windshield. An attempt to show how love eludes me, even if it damn near smacks me in the face.

Now I know what you think. “Daniel you made one song about THREE women?” Yes I did. All three women had overlapping qualities, which made the song as cohesive as it is, because it genuinely sounds like it’s about one person. Also, the song makes me realize that I like what’s not good for me. I don’t know what it is with man and subconsciously enjoying the thrill of being threatened by the venom of a viper. I guess it is what it is.

I don’t think I’m very good at expressing myself and my emotions when I talk, and that’s largely part of the reason I’m perceived as introverted. Or mysterious. Which ever one works best for you. I’d just rather keep quiet for fear of being misconstrued. However, I speak through my art, because it can’t be misconstrued for any reason. You just have to be attuned enough to listen to what I’m saying.

I genuinely thought I’d outgrow the song. Years later, the lyrics still haunt me, like a form of subtle foreshadowing. So much for growth.

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Anyway, I hope you liked this. I’m currently losing my mind but writing this helped channel a couple things I’m dealing with right now. I’ll be good though. I hope you all had a good week!💜

If you’d like to hear what Rárá sounds like, go ahead. Tap the thingy below.

Rárá.